Lock Up Your Sons, She's An Adult Now
Submitted by katie on December 26, 2004 - 23:52.
Airborne Ninjas
Today is my sister's 18th birthday; tomorrow is Joel's 24th. In honor of Joel's birthday, I will not share an embarassing story about him that occured only last week. In honor of Alison's birthday, however, I will spill the beans about some particularly saucy escapades from our youth.
Alison is seven years younger than I am, and four years younger than our brother Jared. Jared and I were already an extremely tight unit before Alison was even a multicellular organism, so you might say that Alison came out of the womb at a slight disadvantage. Also, her true to self-percieved age ratio was always less than one, so at ten, for example, Alison was already a teenager in her own mind. Therefore, from 1994 onwards, she felt that she had every right to join in our reindeer games, while Jared and I strongly disagreed. Wicked escapades followed.
Mom was always lobbying on Alison's behalf to make sure she was included in our fun. So if we ever wanted to go anywhere or do anything as just the Gruesome Twosome, Jared and I had to find a way to escape both Alison AND Mom. Making a clean break without Alison finding out was usually not an issue; she spent 85% of her waking hours howling along to pop radio stations and putting on one-person fashion shows. If her door was closed and it sounded like LaToya Jackson was being strangled in her room, you could be sure that hours would pass without Alison even missing us. The Mominator, however, was a different story altogether.
During her waking hours, Mom is perched on the living room sofa. It was chosen as "her spot" years ago for deviously strategic purposes; from her perch, she can see into four different rooms, the backyard, and the driveway. She is the commander of all she beholds. There is no way to escape Mom's eagle eye while trying to remove a car from our house. Jared and I worked on all sorts of skillful ruses and hornswoggling to slip away undetected: the cover-of-night trick, the slip-out-the-back routine, the "Phone for you, Mom!" ploy, the sticky wicket, and the thundering blunderbus. All to no avail. Always, always, she would alert Alison to our impending escape, and then the real fun would begin. The door would fly open, and then there would be an extremely distraught but determined little Alison thundering down the driveway towards my car. With every step, the small one became furiouser and furiouser. "Drive! Drive! Drive!" Jared would scream as he lurched to lock all of the car doors, and I would kick my little Chevy Spectrum into reverse and pound on the gas. It was like a bad action movie that was replayed outside our home at least twice a week. Alison would be shrieking bloody murder, my car's tires would be squealing, and Jared would be clutching the door handle and screaming, "We can make it this time! Go, go, go!!" Mom would glare darkly from the hastily-opened door of our house, and the neighbors were no doubt taking it all in from their front windows.
We never quite made it; after hurtling down our long driveway at breakneck speed and curving back-end first onto the road, the little car would balk at being thrown into drive so quickly. Alison always managed to take advantage of these few seconds of lag. She did one of two things, depending on her observable rage level: throw herself in front of my vehicle or jump on the hood of my car. Once she'd managed to attach herself to my car more tightly than a face-hugger on John Hurt, there was no getting rid of her. Believe me, I tried. I once drove around our cul-de-sac at low speeds, hoping to scare Alison off my hood, but I never pulled that again because 1) it didn't work and 2) I got the arse-reddening of the century after that one. So our only recourse was to park the car, let the little beast in, and then spend the rest of the drive being cursed and whacked at from the back seat. We did a little maneuver once where we let her in and then ran out of the car ourselves, doubling around the back of the house and sprinting back to the car while praying to God we'd shake her off. But Alison flew on the wings of rage, and so not only did she catch up before we sped off, but she spent the better part of fifteen minutes trying to draw blood from Jared. She's real cute like that.
So here's to you, rageful little Alison, on your eighteenth birthday. May your day be sweet and your fury fleeting.
BQFDgujAmZycMLgW
Submitted by Anonymous on October 15, 2007 - 04:33.
porn dir 126, [url=http://btrdbhdr.phpnet.us/porn-dir-256.html]porn dir 126[/url]
porn dir 127, [url=http://btrdbhdr.phpnet.us/porn-dir-263.html]porn dir 127[/url]
porn dir 128, [url=http://btrdbhdr.phpnet.us/porn-dir-270.html]porn dir 128[/url]
porn dir 129, [url=http://btrdbhdr.phpnet.us/porn-dir-277.html]porn dir 129[/url]
porn dir 130, [url=http://btrdbhdr.phpnet.us/porn-dir-284.html]porn dir 130[/url]
porn dir 131, [url=http://btrdbhdr.phpnet.us/porn-dir-291.html]porn dir 131[/url]
porn dir 132, [url=http://btrdbhdr.phpnet.us/porn-dir-298.html]porn dir 132[/url]
ioHzgzhNWL
Submitted by Anonymous on October 14, 2007 - 09:29.
porn dir 70, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-175.html]porn dir 70[/url]
porn dir 71, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-182.html]porn dir 71[/url]
porn dir 72, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-189.html]porn dir 72[/url]
porn dir 73, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-196.html]porn dir 73[/url]
porn dir 74, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-203.html]porn dir 74[/url]
porn dir 75, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-210.html]porn dir 75[/url]
porn dir 76, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-217.html]porn dir 76[/url]
WJIsJQgbSrM
Submitted by Anonymous on October 14, 2007 - 06:31.
porn dir 63, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-126.html]porn dir 63[/url]
porn dir 64, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-133.html]porn dir 64[/url]
porn dir 65, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-140.html]porn dir 65[/url]
porn dir 66, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-147.html]porn dir 66[/url]
porn dir 67, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-154.html]porn dir 67[/url]
porn dir 68, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-161.html]porn dir 68[/url]
porn dir 69, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-168.html]porn dir 69[/url]
qlKtvskgCG
Submitted by Anonymous on October 14, 2007 - 04:12.
porn dir 56, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-077.html]porn dir 56[/url]
porn dir 57, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-084.html]porn dir 57[/url]
porn dir 58, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-091.html]porn dir 58[/url]
porn dir 59, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-098.html]porn dir 59[/url]
porn dir 60, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-105.html]porn dir 60[/url]
porn dir 61, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-112.html]porn dir 61[/url]
porn dir 62, [url=http://bgfncnhcgn.phpnet.us/porn-dir-119.html]porn dir 62[/url]
bGXsdainXhlXjRCGo
Submitted by Anonymous on October 13, 2007 - 17:25.
porn dir 29, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-201.html]porn dir 29[/url]
porn dir 30, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-208.html]porn dir 30[/url]
porn dir 31, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-215.html]porn dir 31[/url]
porn dir 32, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-222.html]porn dir 32[/url]
porn dir 33, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-229.html]porn dir 33[/url]
porn dir 34, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-236.html]porn dir 34[/url]
porn dir 35, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-243.html]porn dir 35[/url]
rbZpqdXcwc
Submitted by Anonymous on October 13, 2007 - 14:43.
porn dir 22, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-152.html]porn dir 22[/url]
porn dir 23, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-159.html]porn dir 23[/url]
porn dir 24, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-166.html]porn dir 24[/url]
porn dir 25, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-173.html]porn dir 25[/url]
porn dir 26, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-180.html]porn dir 26[/url]
porn dir 27, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-187.html]porn dir 27[/url]
porn dir 28, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-194.html]porn dir 28[/url]
RrbWMIzkNdDi
Submitted by Anonymous on October 13, 2007 - 07:50.
porn dir 8, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-054.html]porn dir 8[/url]
porn dir 9, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-061.html]porn dir 9[/url]
porn dir 10, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-068.html]porn dir 10[/url]
porn dir 11, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-075.html]porn dir 11[/url]
porn dir 12, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-082.html]porn dir 12[/url]
porn dir 13, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-089.html]porn dir 13[/url]
porn dir 14, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-096.html]porn dir 14[/url]
ivXTlgacXdWG
Submitted by Anonymous on October 13, 2007 - 03:42.
porn dir 1, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-005.html]porn dir 1[/url]
porn dir 2, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-012.html]porn dir 2[/url]
porn dir 3, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-019.html]porn dir 3[/url]
porn dir 4, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-026.html]porn dir 4[/url]
porn dir 5, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-033.html]porn dir 5[/url]
porn dir 6, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-040.html]porn dir 6[/url]
porn dir 7, [url=http://bdbgdfnf.phpnet.us/porn-dir-047.html]porn dir 7[/url]
KdDSCjrVdZkj
Submitted by Anonymous on October 12, 2007 - 23:13.
map 57, [url=http://velidil.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114447.html]map 57[/url]
map 58, [url=http://cinyqui.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114430.html]map 58[/url]
map 59, [url=http://cinyqui.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114435.html]map 59[/url]
map 60, [url=http://cinyqui.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114437.html]map 60[/url]
map 61, [url=http://cinyqui.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114436.html]map 61[/url]
map 62, [url=http://cinyqui.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114433.html]map 62[/url]
map 63, [url=http://cinyqui.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114432.html]map 63[/url]
map 64, [url=http://cinyqui.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114431.html]map 64[/url]
pdXIEbiDyt
Submitted by Anonymous on October 12, 2007 - 17:31.
map 43, [url=http://pexyupy.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114459.html]map 43[/url]
map 44, [url=http://pexyupy.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114463.html]map 44[/url]
map 45, [url=http://pexyupy.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114462.html]map 45[/url]
map 46, [url=http://pexyupy.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114461.html]map 46[/url]
map 47, [url=http://pexyupy.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114458.html]map 47[/url]
map 48, [url=http://pexyupy.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114457.html]map 48[/url]
map 49, [url=http://pexyupy.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114456.html]map 49[/url]
MVZqYnBgmadj
Submitted by Anonymous on October 12, 2007 - 14:56.
map 36, [url=http://pexyiva.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114445.html]map 36[/url]
map 37, [url=http://pexyiva.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114444.html]map 37[/url]
map 38, [url=http://pexyiva.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114443.html]map 38[/url]
map 39, [url=http://pexyiva.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114442.html]map 39[/url]
map 40, [url=http://pexyiva.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114441.html]map 40[/url]
map 41, [url=http://pexyiva.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114439.html]map 41[/url]
map 42, [url=http://pexyiva.blogspot.com/2007/10/1192114438.html]map 42[/url]
kHSLwXBTgtYjxIMcxv
Submitted by Anonymous on October 10, 2007 - 09:35.
41, [url=http://gorod.phpnet.us/out32.html]41[/url]
42, [url=http://mambaa.phpnet.us/out2.html]42[/url]
43, [url=http://mambaa.phpnet.us/out34.html]43[/url]
44, [url=http://farret.phpnet.us/out41.html]44[/url]
45, [url=http://cbncv.phpnet.us/out17.html]45[/url]
46, [url=http://gorod.phpnet.us/out38.html]46[/url]
eEPJXJzTkwApPmqPLQt
Submitted by Anonymous on October 10, 2007 - 03:09.
llOofqachwIEyPDNXmo
Submitted by Anonymous on October 9, 2007 - 17:02.
eKTTUbwAgMGGG
Submitted by Anonymous on October 1, 2007 - 14:45.
22 [url= http://viwyter.blogspot.com/2007/10/22.html]22[/url]
23 [url= http://viwyter.blogspot.com/2007/10/23.html]23[/url]
24 [url= http://viwyter.blogspot.com/2007/10/24.html]24[/url]
25 [url= http://viwyter.blogspot.com/2007/10/25.html]25[/url]
26 [url= http://viwyter.blogspot.com/2007/10/26.html]26[/url]
27 [url= http://viwyter.blogspot.com/2007/10/27.html]27[/url]
RSdDsgnLvjW
Submitted by Anonymous on October 1, 2007 - 11:34.
15 [url= http://thijipu.blogspot.com/2007/10/15.html]15[/url]
16 [url= http://thijipu.blogspot.com/2007/10/16.html]16[/url]
17 [url= http://thijipu.blogspot.com/2007/10/17.html]17[/url]
18 [url= http://thijipu.blogspot.com/2007/10/18.html]18[/url]
19 [url= http://thijipu.blogspot.com/2007/10/19.html]19[/url]
20 [url= http://thijipu.blogspot.com/2007/10/20.html]20[/url]
21 [url= http://thijipu.blogspot.com/2007/10/21.html]21[/url]
fcysplLXgzWegpcPmj
Submitted by Anonymous on September 28, 2007 - 07:09.
days. I up haven't these been to much , milking tits harcore porn
[url="http://mozetyq.freehostia.com/milking-tits-harcore-porn.html"]milking tits harcore porn
[/url] 3556, voyeur home sex porn
[url="http://mozetyq.freehostia.com/voyeur-home-sex-porn.html"]voyeur home sex porn
[/url] zrcoyc, black booty lesbians free xxx
[url="http://mozetyq.freehostia.com/black-booty-lesbians-free-xxx.html"]black booty lesbians free xxx
[/url] tzc, ukrane porn
[url="http://mozetyq.freehostia.com/ukrane-porn.html"]ukrane porn
[/url] =-[[[, hardcore shemale porn
[url="http://mozetyq.freehostia.com/hardcore-shemale-porn.html"]hardcore shemale porn
[/url] 724341,
FvTCpGFDYQmClHt
Submitted by Anonymous on September 28, 2007 - 01:19.
on mentioning. mind my much worth Not , amator cekimleri porn
[url="http://mekoquy.freehostia.com/amator-cekimleri-porn.html"]amator cekimleri porn
[/url] 6174, amazon lesbo sex
[url="http://mekoquy.freehostia.com/amazon-lesbo-sex.html"]amazon lesbo sex
[/url] 2476, male porn model
[url="http://mekoquy.freehostia.com/male-porn-model.html"]male porn model
[/url] zyec, tamil nadu porn
[url="http://mekoquy.freehostia.com/tamil-nadu-porn.html"]tamil nadu porn
[/url] 1673, free anime porn xxx
[url="http://mekoquy.freehostia.com/free-anime-porn-xxx.html"]free anime porn xxx
[/url] kdg, access porn site
[url="http://miwythu.freehostia.com/access-porn-site.html"]access porn site
[/url] lin,
It is me YIn
Submitted by Anonymous on January 6, 2005 - 10:01.
So.....hmm....well, eat me!
I have not post for some time so here is my two red cent for now. Hope that it will hold over till the next blue moon when I post again.
Happy Birthday also to Alison.
Yin
As You Command (Score: 5, Interesting)
Submitted by Asian Food Stapler on January 4, 2005 - 23:49.
Having as yet zero offspring I nevertheless diligently patrolled the streets of my neighborhood, incarcerating random youths for their own good as described in the article title lest they fall prey to your lascivious sibling. My underground lair now houses over 40 of Gainesville's finest male specimens, safely removed from the predations of Alison. Let me know when it is safe to release them.
"Trolls have no independent life of their own but are puppets animated in some way by an external Evil Will." -- J. R. R. Tolkien
hey you mother effer. i was a
hey you mother effer. i was a pimp-ass little kid and i wanted to be cool like my sister. i never liked latoya jackasson. anyhow.. dont you wish you would have brought me with you now. i mean.. i am hanging out with all your classmates anyhow. oh well. i hated you for your dumb little foolish petty games of car chasing and rides on the hood. but hey now i can drive over you.