Guess what was waiting for me at my front door when I got home from (ironically enough) Starbucks last week?

A GIANT BOX 'O' STUFF FROM COFFEEMATE!  (click read more below)

 

Here is a beautiful poem I was just inspired to write:

 

Subway dude

Please

Just make my sandwich.

I

Don't care

About how whack your boss is.

You should have paid

Better attention

During high school.

THIS IS AN ASIAN FOOD STAPLE PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE

Just because a baby has cool hands does not mean that said baby is slowly and pitifully freezing to death due to the fact that his mother has left him dangerously underdressed in the face of sub-80-degree weather.  Proof text flies at your face, BAM: 

http://www.babies.sutterhealth.org/afterthebirth/newborn/nb_caring.html

See?  There!  Now we can all stop polishing our Better Mother Than You awards while looking at Katie deploringly.